Harry and the Bikini Bandits by Basil Heatter - Chapter 10
1971 Genre: Vintage Sleaze / Casino Heist
A wildly erotic novel of intrigue, suspense, and adventure...
There's a lot to be said for my Uncle Harry. Mostly unprintable. All my life I'd heard about him, and from a distance he was a kind of legend. But the moment I signed on as one-man crew to his beat-up old bucket, Jezebel, I found my hero of the sea was really a pirate. Broads and booze kept him afloat between capers—and so far, his luck was holding...
But this new harebrained scheme—to heist the loot from an island gambling casino—was the daffiest—and most dangerous yet.
And there I was. Right in the middle. Up to my virginal ears in naked nymphs and Nitrous oxide—with nothing between me and the future but a leaky getaway and a pot of gold that was fast disappearing behind Harry's private rainbow.
CHAPTER 10
Harry got pretty sore about his cut-up briefcase. Sorer about that than about my kissing Miss Wong. Didn't even pay any attention to my kissing Miss Wong. But about the briefcase. Tried to tell him that when he had ordered me to man the pump and save the ship I had to use some ingenuity. Would he rather have lost his boat? Couldn't understand why he was so upset. I mean there he was with all that contempt for attaché cases and suits and socks and neckties and TV sets.
Back to Miss Wong. The way it happened was a real surprise. After my disappointing visit to Miss McGee, I swam around for a while. Did the backstroke and the Australian crawl until I was alongside the boat. I was tired and hanging on to the bobstay waiting for the barracudas to lop off a couple of toes. Suddenly something went right over my head and made a terrific splash about two feet away. Thought it must be Moby Dick or King Kong. Scared me halfway up the bobstay. Hung there shaking until I saw it was Miss Wong.
She had made a running dive over my head without knowing I was there. When she surfaced she was outlined in a silver flame. And naked. Or practically so. Still wearing her little bikini pants but nothing else. Most beautiful thing I ever saw. Her eyes widened a little but otherwise she never lost her cool.
"I didn't know you were down there, Clay."
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"Well, you know . . . "
She smiled. Made no attempt to cover herself. God how beautiful.
"Where's Harry?" I said.
"Sleeping."
My teeth had begun to chatter. Hot behind the ears but shaking.
"What's the matter with you?"
"Nothing."
"Are you a virgin?"
I was but what business was it of hers? Shook harder than ever.
She turned toward me like about one millimeter and the tip of her breast touched me somewhere around the armpit. I turned to stone as if I had been put through an instantaneous dry freeze. If I had let go of the chain I would have gone straight to the bottom. That Chinese Mona Lisa smile could mean anything or nothing.
Head under water, long black hair floating, lips against my chest. Mouthing my nipple. Hand drifting between my legs. Comes up mouth salty and lips against mine. Bliss. Harry leaning down off the bowsprit, snarling, "Who was the lard-ass who chewed up that briefcase?"
Snapped my head away as if I had been electrocuted. She remained cool and sleepy and didn't even glance up. They are a great people and someday will rule the world.
"Listen, Harry, it was an emergency. The boat was sinking and the pump was no good. I had to fix it with whatever I could find." My voice squeaked. Didn't he care that I was kissing his girl?
"Bullshit. What about the papers?"
"What papers?"
"In the case, dummy."
Diagrams of some sort. Hadn't bothered to look at them.
"I left everything just as it was, Harry."
"You sure about that?"
"Listen, the water was over the floorboards. Do you think I was interested in reading your papers at a time like that?"
He gave me a hard look and was satisfied that I was telling the truth. His head disappeared. Miss Wong was about fifty yards off and swimming easily. Like she had never seen either of us before.
Harry reappeared. "How about finishing up that exhaust line so we can get off this goddamned reef?"
"Sure thing."
Back into the bilge and started fitting the new steam hose supplied by Charisma. Tightened clamps slowly so as to keep whole mickey-mouse business from collapsing.. Very excited about Miss Wong. And Miss McGee. Cannot decide which one I like better. Have to be careful about Harry, though, or he will throw me off the boat. Still he saw us plain as day and never said a word about anything but his lousy briefcase.
Tightened the last clamp with sweat dripping off my brow. Wriggled back out and turned on the engine. A bang and a puff but the contraption holds. And a lot quieter. Steam hose acts like a muffler. Why didn't we all die from carbon monoxide through that leaky pipe? Harry's Luck. Murphy's Law.
Fetched up the anchor. Put-putted for the shore. Tied up at the dock and took on gas. The gas was in rusty old drums, and I wondered how much water was in with it. Asked Harry if he had a strainer but he said no. Remembered Miss Wong's nylon bikini. I asked her if she had a spare pair of panties we could use. She looked thoughtful and began to tug at the ones she was wearing. Felt the blood rush into my face. She smiled and came up with a filmy bit that I draped around the hose. Got nervous just handling it.
Can see the roof of the senator's house. Keep looking that way hoping to see her. No sign of her. But then a tall well-dressed man who must be the senator. Mustache and shiny black hair. Looks Latin. Climbing down out of the plane that has just come in from Miami. Sky-blue sport shirt and yellow pants. Wide-brimmed straw hat. Walks into the house as if he owned it. Matter of fact he does. Even from a distance I hate him.